When my sister was a little kid, she was fascinated by cash registers. Her eyes would light up at the sight of a register, and she would literally fantasize about just hitting all of the buttons as much as she could. No lie – when she came to visit me after I moved to college, we would go see a movie or go out to eat, but the highlight of her trip would be when I’d take her to Office Depot and she could push the buttons on the various commercial-grade calculators. She’d push every button she could get her fingers on.
Mark Christensen in the Unicameral kind of reminds me of that. Now to be fair to my family, in no way am I trying to imply that my grade-schooler sister was as simple as Mark Christensen, but there’s something about the bills that he keeps cranking out that gives me this image of him in Lincoln, face lit up with unbridled joy, as he thinks to himself “Oooh, I could try this! And I could try this!”
It’s as if there is really no limit to the number of ridiculous bills he’ll introduce. And he’s still pretty new! He is going to have so much fun! I mean, just look at that face! This guy is having the time of his life! It’s like the state of Nebraska is his Office Depot, and the citizens are its buttons.
So when I heard that a state senator introduced a birther bill, I knew exactly who it had to be. Check out this language:
(5) The affidavit shall be sworn or affirmed before a
14 notary public and shall contain statements substantially as follows:
15 I was born a citizen of the United States of America and
16 was subject exclusively to the jurisdiction of the United States of
17 America, owing allegiance to no other country at the time of my
18 birth. On the day I was born, both my birth mother and birth father
19 were citizens of the United States of America. As further evidence of
20 the above statements, I have attached the items required in
21 subsection (6) of this section.
Think he has anyone in mind?
h/t Dave Sund via facebook
Hmmm…didn’t know both of your parents had to be US citizens, too. Someone’s going to get their bill struck down as unconstitutional.